S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E. spelling bee.

Three pals and I attended the second annual literacy center spelling bee last night as the only spectators. As KTD explained, "Spelling is kind of like our sport."

With a steep entry fee of $300, our sad national service selves couldn't afford to enter, but we should have - seeing how we hold impromptu bees at work with words like "hobbledehoy" and "hartebeest," and we turned into total spelling snobs when words like "felony" and "bisect" were read from the podium at yesterday's official contest.

There were seven bee teams, consisting of three members each. We quickly became the groupies for the APL team, who ended up winning on the word "rhonchus." A worthy championship word, for sure.

Our tablemates made the evening even more interesting, as we were seated with the IFC (Interfraternity Council) for OU. We had lots in common, as you can imagine. Sadly, yet not surprisingly, they were the first team eliminated.

The highlights of the evening, though, were mostly from the horrible pronouncer, whose reading was so terrible that teams were given do-overs from the judges based on "pronunciation error." Emaciation became "EmaNciation." Resonant became "Resnant." These errors caused outrage on the part of APL-team dude who would yell out "That was a MISpronunciation - SAY IT AGAIN!" Lots of eye rolling and scoffing on the part of the superspellers ensued. Woah, drama.

Tension was running high at the bee, and on more than one occasion in response to protests from the crowd, the official rulebook had to be busted out. E.g. "If the team does not have a Spellagain voucher to submit for a second word, of if the team spells the second word incorrectly, the team is eliminated from the Bee." In times like these the MC would say things like, "Point of order. The judges must confer." I was dying.

Meanwhile, my pals and I spelled along at our table, proving our spelling superiority by writing down the words as they were announced and debating the correct spellings. This was our Nerd Olympics.

The competition culminated in a literacy death match known as the "spell off." When it was down to only two teams, the Newsies v. the APL superstars, the whole room erupted into the slow chant "SPELL OFF, SPELL OFF, SPELL OFF." Was this really happening?

Next time I'm in the library I'm so going to approach the circulation desk and the woman who pulled off "rhonchus" and with total admiration be all, "I saw you at the Bee. You were AMAZING!" And then I'll think, "But we SO would've destroyed you, " as I snort, push up my glasses, and adjust my pocket protector.