Like a Rock

We were watching a dvd for one of Brandon’s scuba courses when the narrator very matter of factly stated, “Most people float.” She didn't clarify, so I turned to Brandon, puzzled, "What does she mean – most people float. Everyone floats. You just lie on your back and glide along. Duh.” “I don’t float,” he answered. “Sure you do, you’re just probably not the best swimmer…”

When he went to scuba class the next day, though, the instructor verified this: he is, apparently, “negatively buoyant.” That’s right, he has such little body mass that he just sinks to the bottom like a solid rock. Most people can easily bob along, but when measured for a scuba weight belt, Brandon literally required no weights to hold him beneath the surface. (Of course he’s now using this an excuse to eat an entire pan of texas sheet cake: “Don’t be hatin - I need me some fat cells to float!”)

Identity Crisis Averted: T-Pat Steves Lives!

I changed my name today; it only took me two and a half years (and several identity conflicts) to get around to it. And, with some bureaucratic finagling, it was a lot less complicated than originally thought. No court hearing required! My new, official name will arrive in the mail in about ten business days.

I was really happy about this - not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm about to start a new, adventurous chapter in life and it feels good to have a new alias to go along with it... Although it was a little creepy to hear the SS clerk call me "Mrs." (He got an awkward, guilty-feminist half-smile in return). This only lasted a minute though, and I threw down the sweet new signature: I am the new Michael J. Fox.

To celebrate, B and I are having dinner tonight at Stephens, get it? Then we're going to see David Sedaris! We've been looking forward to this for MONTHS.