The creature that shares my home is violent - violent beyond normal cat-violence, I believe.
Stella lunges at me (from underneath ottomans, couch, duvet or chair leg) with such speed and ferocity that my heart skips several beats and I have to sit down and rest for a minute or two. Her pupils dilate as her claws come out and sink into the naked flesh of my calves. I hear that lying in wait under furniture and pouncing is typical, at least for the first couple years of feline life, but the uncommon part about this is that it is no hit-and-run attack; Stella digs her fangs into my legs and refuses to let go.
On Monday, I suffered my worst wound to date:
While climbing the stairs, Stella lunged from behind a loaf of bread on top of the refrigerator. With incisors deep inside the tissue of my left leg and a basket of laundry filling my arms, I used my right foot to try to push her off me. Instead, she digs in harder, and when I push her downward, she just drags her claws down my leg, leaving a wonderfully Halloween-appropriate tearing wound. Imagine the kind that you'd glue to your forehead as part of a Frankenstein costume. Who needs a trip to Halloween USA when I've got "lifelike wounds by Stella" being created in my very own home!
I should also mention that her aggression has manifested in other ways, most notably angry urination. (It appears she's reverting to her most infantile methods of upsetting me).
On Sunday, as Brandon cleaned the litter, I looked over to see Stella "snuggling" in the lid of the box - (we have one of the enclosed types with the filter in the top). How cute, I thought.
Soon, though, I noticed a puddle forming in the bottom of the box - when we lifted it up, there was a pond on the floor. She had pissed in the filter! In the filter!
We thought this behavior had subsided when we gave her the beanie baby (named "Sizzle" by the Ty Corporation) - a flame red fuzzy teddy bear, all velor with a red bow around its neck. For a month or more, Sizzle occupied all of Stella's crazy energy and indeed was a blessed portal for all her evil. But somehow Sizzle's spell has worn off and my bare legs are once again her game.
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2 comments:
I think you will enjoy this video:
http://tinyurl.com/2sv44c
Tori, you are a true storyteller. A gift. I am glad you are not letting it go to waste. I, on the other hand, SUCK at telling stories, so I will give you a few notes from my dog's past- thats right, the hound immortalized in a weaving delivered to my brother 2 years late- and my childhood.
Galaxy (my dog) also had a tendency that lasted well past his infancy, though it should not have. He humped things. All sorts of things, but mainly my female friends. And the female friend with three large female dogs at home sent him climbing onto furniture in order to hump her. I had to put him in the basement and he wailed and scratched at the door until we left the house.
But Galaxy humped things (including me) so often that we gave him my brother's stuffed animal to hump as he pleased (I assume because he got it nasty once and there was no turning back). This stuffed animal was a stegosaurus (I think) and it was called by my family "Humpasaurus". Whenever Humpasaurus came onto the first floor of our house, it was quickly kicked back downstairs in disgust.
Another story about his humping: The first time he did it to me, we had just gotten him and I was in the first grade. I thought he liked me: he was hugging my leg and jumping up and down. When my mother informed me that he was rubbing his penis on my leg, I freaked out and shook him off.
One last note: I have an all too vivid memory (and I don't have many of them) of my dog walking through our entryway panting with a "red rocket" as people like to call them, and my mother holding me in fear, telling me not to go near him. Who knows what would have happened.
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