The Rest

I almost forgot about this...

While in Minnesota for way-too-long, week-long training for my "job," I spent every evening in my hotel room. Why waste a week in a new place in your hotel? Because the only other options for outside-the-hotel entertainment were:
1.) Taking a hotel shuttle to the Mall of America (affectionately referred to as the MOA by Minneapolis natives). I don't enjoy malls in general, but I had a hunch that exploring this place by myself would give me an anxiety attack.
2.) Going to the Minnesota State Fair - a far superior option, because as I learned from the Minneapolis daily newscast, the State Fair IS AWESOME. Why so AWESOME? Because the Minnesota State Fair is renowned for its creative use of "things on a stick." Unlike most of your run of the mill state fairs, the Minnesotans do it up right: macaroni and cheese on a stick, walleye on a stick, etc. This is a serious source of pride for Minnesota. You suck, Ohio.
3.) Hanging out with my colleagues, who I'd already spent twelve hours with each day.

So I was somewhat relieved when the phone in my room rang on the very first night. I assumed it would be the front desk, but the voice on the other end inquired, "Hello, T-Pole? This is Marty - Ralph's niece."
Of course it would be Brandon's grandfather's sister's daughter. calling me in an obscure hotel room almost a thousand miles away from home. duh.
The frantic photocopying during the tornado was not in vain; he had tracked me down.
After a lovely convo with Marty (who had not seen B-rod since he was two), she offered to take me to dinner with her family.

Two days later, Marty showed up in her orange eco-mobile and took me away from the stifling hotel. We arrived at the Good Earth (a wonderful "health food" restaurant) to meet her mother and father, husband and brother. Woah, intense, huh? So I dined with these strangers and came to realize that of course they are wonderful and intensely polite and curious people. They're Ralph's people.
I learned all sorts of family trivia, including the fact that B-rod has a cousin who's 6'11" - genetic mystery solved! At least we know where his freak gene lies now...
The parents (Ralph's sister and bro-in-law) were amazing = they travel the country at the age of 87 and stay in elder-hostels. Who knew these existed? Marty and her man were likewise great; they even knew about and were very interested in my "job," because their daughter did the same thing. From what I learned of her, I think this daughter (and distant B-rod cousin) might be my bff if we ever meet.

This brief visit definitely helped me survive my week of boredom. I learned that Minnesota isn't all MOA and skewered walleye; it's the home of some really friendly people who love their state and other people. On my next visit, I'll try to get out more - I've been told by some reliable sources that Minneapolis is a fine city to explore.